*A chronicle of ducks, despair, and the occasional moment of competence on London's cricket pitches* --- ## Prologue: Why I'm Writing This I started playing cricket in 2024 with the Canary Wharf Royals (CWRCC). It was my first exposure to the beautiful sport and I could not have had an uglier start. My constant failures on the pitch played as recorded videotapes in my head throughout the summer of 2024 and in an attempt to "process" these "new" feelings, I decided to write about them. So, in 10 individual posts I wrote about my experiences across 10 different games throughout the season. As the season progressed, my confidence grew and I had little things to crib about (not cause I was getting that much better, but I gave up on any kind of self improvement and just embraced the suck). And as I had lesser things to crib about, I wrote lesser. My 2025 season, I played for two clubs - CWRCC and the London Avengers (LACC). Given how crap I was in 2024, 2025 was actually really good. All that winter nets practice (including a 20 hour bootcamp at Lords!) really seemed to help. Did gain a lot more confidence as a batter, realised I am a bit of an inconsistent chimp when I bowl and most importantly, hit a straight six over a fast bowler's head. Yes. *I - hit - a - six*. Now, looking back at the posts I had written up in 2024, I did notice how they were a mixture of incredible self criticism and some bits of comedic gold (my coping mechanism is being funny and cruel to myself at the same time, yayyy!). Given how I can see the funny side in those experiences now, I decided to rewrite those posts and combine them into one big post. This is that post. --- ## Quick Introduction to Cricket for Non-cricketers If you don't know what cricket is, this section is for you. If you know what it is, skip this unless you want to be offended by a gross oversimplification of the great game. Cricket is an outdoor ball sport played between 2 teams of 11 players each. The field of play is a (usually) circular ground with a "boundary" at its periphery and a rectangular strip in the middle called the "pitch". The pitch is where all the action takes place. From one end of the pitch a "bowler" bowls (throws) the cricket ball towards a batter on the other end. The other 10 team members of the bowler stand in different places in the field. Their job is to prevent the batter from hitting the ball out of the boundary and the batter's job is to hit the ball to different parts of the field (usually out of the boundary). Each hit (might) help the batting team accumulate "runs" (points). A batter can be made "out" (dismissed from the field of play) by the bowling team in a bunch of different ways. This one session where one team bowls and the other bats is called an "innings". An innings ends if at least 10 batters of the batting team are dismissed or the bowling team completes bowling their "quota" of balls in an innings. The winner is whichever team has more runs after both team's bat. This is all you need to know to understand the high level of the sport. If you want to know more in-depth, I suggest finding your local cricket club and playing the sport. If you think you will suck at it, that's more the reason to try it! If you think it's too "complex", it's not in practice! If you think it's "pointless", it was good knowing you! <iframe width="700" height="350" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/g-beFHld19c" title="What Is Cricket? Get to know the sport" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe> --- ## Chapter 1: The Debut (April 6, 2024) **Result:** Lost by 2 runs | **My contribution to this loss:** Significant *A fine Saturday morning with good sun. Definitely there is a good game of cricket in this grassy ground*, I thought as my cab pulled over.  *Receiving my cap for CWRCC from my teammate Archit. Look at that optimism. That poor, naive optimism.* ### The Bowling: An Exercise in Humility I bowl spin, by the way. Still not sure which kind 😬. As of now, all I have is a bunch of googlies and some straighter ones. I am not a big turner of the ball. My strength is the bounce I generate on landing the ball. **Final figures: 37-0 in 4 overs. Economy: 9.25.** As I approached the crease to bowl my first ball, I realised how strong the wind was. And it was blowing against me. As I stepped into my stride, I felt the wind pushing me back. I wanted to stop, but I went on with my delivery (no idea why) and dropped the ball short and outside off. Ball number 5 disappeared into long on. Ball number 6 followed suit. *Eleven runs off my first over.* But the pièce de résistance came in my second over. I tried going fuller with flight, but drifted the ball onto the batsman's pads on the full. He saw it, he timed it, he dispatched it. **Into a bloody house!!!** ### The Batting: A Brief Affair **Score: 0 (2)** Went in at 10. First ball: Defended. Second ball: Went across and heaved. The ball crashed into my right thigh. Plumb LBW. Can't be clearer than that. We lost this game by 2 runs. Had I been sensible, we probably would have won. **Lesson learned:** Play straight. That's it. No matter what scenario I am in, play straight. --- ## Chapter 2: The Lofted Delusion (April 14, 2024) **Result:** Won | **My contribution:** Moral support  *DALL-E generated image. Somebody needs to teach ChatGPT that there are only three stumps in cricket ;)* We won! The team gave away 47 wides, which was a bit shit. A wide is a "bad ball" which needs to be bowled again by the team. And the batting side gets an extra 1 run for each wide. So, we gave away 47 freebies. I heard that the opposition named one of the corners of their home ground in our honour after the game! I was promoted to number 5 in the batting order. This was a sign of trust that I was determined to honour. **Score: 0 (10)** But unlike the first game, I was a lot more settled. I defended. I left balls outside off. I was being *responsible*. Nine dot balls in my belt. The spinner wasn't turning it. The boundary was empty at long off. *Why not*, I thought. *Why not be a hero.* I extended my left leg forward, brought my bat in to slap the ball hard. The ball lifted up and it goes, goes, goes... and straight into the hands of a fielder at long off. Ffs! Later analysis with the skip revealed the issue: I didn't complete a full circle with my bat swing and stopped it prematurely before head level. Ideally, I had to take it all the way back to almost clip me on the backside to generate the force needed. But more importantly: *Why the aerial route?* Sixes are exciting, but what's more exciting is *facing another delivery*. --- ## Chapter 3: The Duck Farm Opens (May 6, 2024) **Result:** Lost by 6 wickets | **Ducks in a row:** 3  *Got my third duck in a row! Time to start a farm :)* This was my first competitive match of the season. The pitch was damp. We were put in to bat first. The collapse was inevitable. **Score: 0 (1)** I was still ravaging my Ginsters Chicken & Mushroom Slice when the collapse started. I was asked to pad up and I started to do so slowly as there were still plenty of batsmen to go in before I had to (or I thought so). *"Ram, you are up."* Being the person I am, I freak out. *What!? So early? I am not done. Shit! Shit! Shit!* I speed up and realise I didn't wear my abdomen guard. *Nah, not going out there without the most important piece of my kit.* After wearing the guard, I fished out my helmet, smacked it in place, stumbled a billion times to remove my bat from its sheath and ran onto the field with bat and gloves in hand. It was chaos that I built up in my anxious head. Nobody was hurrying me up. The bowler lobbed up the ball with decent flight. Pre-determined to defend, I stretched forward like a programmed robot. I didn't watch the ball till the end. *A faintly audible tap, the sound of leather hitting cushion.* Immediately followed by *a war cry of 11 men*. I looked up to the umpire hoping he would negate the cries with a horizontal nod. *The finger went up.* I straightened myself, and walked back. I felt a pat on my back, *"Well played!"*. How much I would have loved to reward the player for his cheek with a right hook. But hey, you can't do that 😃. We play cricket. **New perspective:** Scoring three ducks in a row has in a way freed up my mind. Another duck would make no difference, so I'm just going to get on with it. --- ## Chapter 4: The Great Ghosting (May 13, 2024) **Result:** They didn't show up  *Me raising my bat after scoring my first run of the season!* Our opponents decided to take a rain check... except there was no rain. Yep, they straight-up ghosted us. To anyone who's ever been stood up on a date and thought that was the peak of disappointment, let me tell you, it causes greater pain when it happens on the cricket field 😝 But we are a cricket-loving bunch at CWRCC. We formed two teams of 5 members each, chose some *incredibly unparliamentary* team names, and had ourselves a jolly good time. **Bowling: 9/2 in 2.1 overs (Game 1), 18/1 in 2 overs (Game 2)** - In Game 1, I noticed a batsman opening his stance. I bowled faster and at the stumps, expecting him to swing across to leg. He swung. He missed. The off stump leaned backwards. **First wicket of the season.** - The same over, a ball was hit straight back at me. I timed my jump, felt the ball in my palm, it gripped. But, I was surprised and never even thought I would make contact. It rolled out of my hand. Dropped catch. Me and catches have not really hit it off yet. Probably one of the reasons I'm usually sent to third man or fine leg. - My skip pulled me aside and said: *"A spinner's greatest asset is the flight. Use it."* - I used it. The batsman lobbed me exactly where the skip said he would. Catch taken. Out. I ran to the skip with my most animated cry of excitement. (I get very animated on the pitch when I take a wicket.) ### Breaking the Duck Streak **Batting: 2 runs (Game 1), 1 run (Game 2)** Three whole runs across two games. Good? Bad? I don't know. But as a teammate wisely said: *"The first half of your season, just focus on staying there and gaining exposure. The second half, go for runs."* And I personally was just happy that I got a run! --- ## Chapter 5: The Sledging Education (May 19, 2024) This match taught me about the beautiful art of sledging. Some questions I pondered while lazying around mid-wicket. - What is good sledging? - Is sledging truly against the "spirit" of the game or does it enhance it? - I was guilty of starting it in places. Did I go too far? Did we go too far? What is too far? Our batting won over the opposition's sledging, which was laughable after a point. ### A Field Guide to Cricket Banter For the uninitiated, here are some classic lines I collected throughout the season: 1. "Swing and a miss!" 2. "Big shot coming!" 3. "Oh, the responsibilities!" 4. "All day long!" 5. "It's all off the edge here, bois!" 6. "He is batting to the field, lads!" 7. "Come on batsman, show us what you got, buddy!" 8. "Lots of respect here, buddy!" *(when a batsman defends an easy ball)* 9. "Nothing along the ground. We've got ourselves a bottom-hand player here!" 10. "Ahh, you know you missed out on that one, batsman!" *(when they miss a full toss)* 11. "All that for nothing!" *(when a big heave goes for a single)* 12. "What vision, bois! He's picking our fielders correctly!" 13. "He ain't got a clue, boisss!" *(after a few misses)* 14. "He wants to be a hero here!" *(if a tailender hits a boundary)* 15. "The boundaries are like my sense of humour. All dry!" --- ## Chapter 6: The Middle-Order Blues (Matches 6 & 7) **Result:** Lost both. Should have won both. The common theme: the middle and lower order collapsed too cheaply. From my side, both days exhibited a recurring pattern of not knowing my responsibilities at the lower order. ### The Blame Game When things go wrong, the head goes to dark places: - Blaming my helmet - Blaming my bat speed - Blaming not seeing the ball - Blaming my callous attitude None of this is useful, but that's where the head goes. **The truth:** It's not that I can't play a shot. It's that I don't let myself free enough to play my shot or watch the ball well. In the nets, the idea was to just stay and play, and that made me confident. In the game however, I am freaking out. **I need to stop freaking out.** ### Remedial Actions - More hanging ball practice sessions - Mirror reflection to understand how I move, where I strike vs where I should strike - High time I bring into practice a calming ritual to help me destress --- ## Chapter 7: The Confidence Drive (June 17, 2024) **Result:** Lost (middle order collapse, again) **Score: 2* (3)** A breakthrough! Not out! Confident on-drive! Things got a bit slow for the team overall, but for me personally, progress. Cricket is funny that way. It's a team sport, but also an individual sport within the team dynamics. --- ## Chapter 8: Caribbean Flavour (June 22, 2024) **Result:** Won A low-scoring affair with an awkward bounce from the pitch. There was a bit of a depression in the playing surface. Top team effort to secure the win. The opposition brought a Caribbean flavour of cricket: hit-or-miss style of playing, except one opener who stood till the very end. Quite colourful language shared on the pitch between both teams! ### My Batting **Score: 0** Went in at five. Crappy, again. Was struggling against the pace. Didn't settle in. Fell LBW to a straighter delivery. Me and straight, full-length deliveries: clearly a pattern there. Did I lack intent? I don't know. Will forget about this soon enough and think about the next one. When I get an opportunity, should try my best to keep it. **Diagnosis:** It seems like an issue of temperament and confidence. --- ## Season Statistics **Season batting average:** Let's not talk about it. **Ducks collected:** Enough to open a farm 🦆🦆🦆🦆 **Bowling:** Not as bad as the batting. --- ## Final Lessons from a Season of Character Building ### On Bowling - **Never bowl if your natural stride is disturbed.** Pause, compose, reload. - **Keep it consistent.** The deliveries I got hit on were poor. Too short, on the leg, wides, full tosses. The good ones were flighted, fuller, outside off. - **Set the right field. Bowl to the field.** Beautiful when it works. - **Flight it.** A spinner's greatest strength. Use it. Back it up. Surprise the batsman. - **Hurry the batsman.** Don't let them settle. Keep them guessing. ### On Batting - **Play straight.** No matter what. - **Play down the ground.** Get the ball on the ground. Seek singles and doubles. - **Head down.** Head down, elbows straight, strong backlift, good swing. - **Watch the ball.** Eyes on the ball till the very end. Especially against spinners. - **Don't think. Play with intent.** Meet the ball. Don't wait. - **Screw the score.** Duck or runs, doesn't matter. Play your game. ### On Fear When I walk out, I am often thinking of not getting out. It's a fear I find very hard to shake off. The solution isn't to eliminate the fear. It's to acknowledge it, breathe, and play anyway. ### On Being Kind To Myself Just a cheeky reminder to my ultra-competitive self: cricket is supposed to be fun. I am *paying to play*. I am *NOT paid to play*. --- *But 2024 taught me this most importantly - Cricket isn't about the runs you score. It's about the person you become while failing to score them.* 2025 was much better. 2026 will be absolutely brilliant. I am sure :D *Fin.*